hello
Welcome! After a long time i updated my Blog
Just kinda lazy to do anything about it
Guess it happens to everyone....
Navigations are the 4 clouds.
sitting around headless
This week has been a tough week for me, but 1st let me qualify tat most weeks are tough in many different way, i'm sure u might have a tough day even today as well. Heh i'm not comparing or anything but i really feel burn out...i haven really slept well for the past few nites, waking up all the time..
Well i felt abit overwhelmed this week cos i felt like there're so much needs to be met... I was spending time wif alfred on tues to watch a movie, we had a good chat, juz when the movie was abt to start my mum called to tell me tat my grandma was not doing very well physically... i was worried but not too concern cos she's kinda old... So my mum was asking if i could take a few days off & visit my grandma in Malaysia(13hrs bus ride)... i wasn't too keen but i said i'll ask my bosses. The next day my mum called and said my granny passed away... i didn't noe wat to do... not sure how to feel. i wasn't sad, far from it i was indifferent....
And so my mum rushed off to Malaysia without me... i wanted to go but she can't wait for me then she's gone... i cant go on my own cos i dunno how to get there... sad but true the last time when i was there, i was like 11yrs old... My mum is abit sad but she's ok but i cant help but to feel guilty... the guilt of not feeling sad tat my granny passed away... am i so heartless? i really dunno how to feel... my escape mechanism is telling it's ok juz bottled it all up & u be fine... ' u r fine now aren't u?'
So i did wat i could do, i bottled it up, i put on a mask & went to spendtime wif my small grp... gonna get wif another bro later as well... & be there for all the shawn wooten services while my granny's funeral is on...
Wat am i to do? I dunno... all i can do now is blog... though i do have some time alone to think abt wat happen... but i dunno wat to think... HEADLESS!
Friday, March 23, 2007 at 5:31 PM
